Love languages came from the psychologist, Dr. Gary Chapman. He explained that it is how people perceive and get their love needs met. Chapman noticed how couples kept miscommunicating their needs to each other and not getting the love that they wanted (Gordon, 2021).
The 5 Love Languages Chapman created was:
Words of Affirmation - saying "I love you", "I appreciate you"
Quality Time - movie date, game night, going out to dinner together
Acts of Service - doing dishes for your partner, running the bath for them, putting gas in their car
Physical Touch - giving a hug, kisses, cuddling, a back massage
Receiving Gifts - an item you give to them that reminds you of your partner, does not have to be expensive or a large gift.
So why are love languages so important?
They are important in a relationship, whether family, platonic, and romantic, to see how that person shows their love to you. Chapman says that it is helpful if you have the same love language as your partner, but it is not most important (Schuppe, 2021). Dr. Chapman also explains that each partner has a primary and a secondary love language. You could have acts of service be your primary and receiving gifts as your secondary.
A great example is in my romantic relationship of 3 years, with my boyfriend, Trevor. His primary love language is acts of service and his secondary can be quality time. My primary love language is words of affirmation, but I also enjoy quality time with physical touch sometimes. There does not have to be one love language only. It works and helps both of us in the relationship know how we both feel loved and to keep working on showing up for each other.
References
Gordon, S. (2021). What are the five love languages? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/can-the-five-love-languages-help-your-relationship-4783538#:~:text=According%20to%20Dr.%20Chapman%2C%20there%20are%20five%20primary,how%20people%20feel%20loved%20through%20each%20of%20them.
Schuppe, J. (2021). Why are the love languages important? GuruQuestion. https://guruquestion.com/why-are-the-love-languages-important.
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